What can I do about my cellulite? I get asked this question a lot, and I really wish I had a magical solution not only for my clients but selfishly for my own orange peel, cottage cheese, or my personal favorite, hail damage.
Over the years I’ve tried numerous DIY cellulite treatments: Eat kelp. Scrub with coffee. Use horse chestnut extract. Buy cellulite creams (The pictures are super convincing, but trust me, save your money.) I was never quite sure whether to eat the horse chestnut extract or rub it on. I couldn’t decide how much is too much kelp, and honestly, I’d rather just drink my coffee.
I took a break from trying until Dr. Oz shared a cellulite remedy I hadn’t tried yet: Massage devices.
“Massage devices actually DO work. Here’s why: Cellulite develops because fibrous connective bands between the skin and fat pull the fat to the surface, creating a rippled skin appearance. By creating friction, you can loosen or soften those bands temporarily. Massage helps by stimulating circulation and draining excess fluids. When the fat cells aren’t as “full,” the lumps appear smoothed.”
Since it was Dr. Oz, I figured this was worth a shot.
First, I Googled massage devices for cellulite and was overwhelmed at the number of choices. After much contemplation (analysis paralysis), I finally decided on the Fascia Blaster by Ashley Black, www.fasciablaster.com. To be clear, cellulite reduction is not the only use touted for the Fascia Blaster, but since they’ve “sold more than 1M” of these bad boys, I figured it must be doing something for someone.
I’ll admit I was very optimistic when my Fascia Blaster arrived, complete with a black velvety storage bag. Classy. I committed to giving it a good month and got started right away. For 30 minutes each day, I locked myself in the bathroom and ran those knobs over the fronts and backs of my legs and buns like I was out for revenge.
After 30 days, here’s what I found: First of all, it hurt like heck. I guess FB must’ve been “breaking up” something, but some days I’d whimper when I had to grind her over my legs which were already tender and bruised. I gave it all wrestling with those devilish fibrous bands, but I can’t say that much loosened or softened inside, and as for my rear view, it looked the same.
To be fair, Fascia Blaster really does make one heck of a massager; those claws just dug right in to my back knots. Nonetheless, after our solid 30-day run, FB sat stored and unloved for months. I decided to get rid of it, so I gave it to my son who found another eager buyer and cashed in.
The fact is cellulite is more prevalent in women, it is often hereditary, and it can develop as we age. The good news is, there IS something we can do to help minimize it: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Watch our sugar and sodium levels and exercise. But we’re supposed to do that anyway 😉.